14 October 2010

life and the remedy..

“I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you’re alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

American Gods, Neil Gaiman
These few days had been a tough one for me..I have learned that no matter how lovely you thought a person is, in the end of the day we are all just a bunch of selfish creatures. Maybe I set too high of expectation from people, but I thought I ought to do that since I too will treat them the way I expect people would treat me..But I guess I was wrong, I shouldn't have to be too careful, shouldn't have to be too naive, people will always take you for granted, and when they did that, you know you have to leave..leave the special place that you have reserved for them in your life, in your heart..
I have learned that the world has changed, into a cruel cruel place, where love and passion only turn into lust and aggressiveness.. People are no longer warm and friendly, everywhere you go you will find competition and battlefield, each of us trying very hard to protect ourselves, ONLY ourselves, there is no more US, but more ME..People are wearing mask that could adjust to whoever they deal with, which is a scary scary fact.

I thought that maybe I am being too sensitive, maybe I would do that too if I were them, I would be a selfish brat that protect my own feeling, my own zone instead of yours..But I found myself doing the opposite, I gave in, I retreat, I accept your selfishness, but what do I get in return? Only mockery, ruined relationship, and suffering that only I myself bear..
But when you're in a point of disappointment,  how would you react? Would you be the gentle, big heart guy to start and rekindle everything? Or would you go on with your life and just leave everything painful behind? Either way will be painful enough to start..

I find myself trying to denied and force every little faith that left of me to believe that love, still, would solve everything..and when I am in doubt, I will just run to the love of my life, that will never ever lie, and will never ever be wrong..


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