A Proper Goodbye..

I am now just sitting here, on a rainy day, with a broken heart and teary face, typing my final words for you. I think you would know, and you would understand, that this is my comfort place, a place to pour what I have to say.. I am sorry I didn't get a chance to say my proper good bye to you.. It all happened so fast.. Too fast that it seemed like it had been planned that way all along..

I still can't believe that you are gone. You really are gone forever from my life. I know I have lost you the day you introduced us to that gold digger-greedy-ungrateful-unfaithful-free loader woman. But now, I have really lost you, for good. And I can't believe that I actually miss you. I miss you a lot. You have left a hole in my heart, and it hurts. Right now, it hurts so bad. So bad that it made me feels it would be inappropriate for me to plan my biggest day in my life. It hurts more with the fact that, you can't be there. You won't be there on the biggest day of my life. You won't be there with your smiley face watching me marry the love of my life. You won't be there when we pour and serve you our respect cup of tea to you. And the fact that you have been looking forward to it just squeezed my fragile heart.

I am sorry that I haven't been talking much to you. I'm sorry for all the missed bonding time. I'm sorry that the last time we talked, I still nagged you about all the junk food that you ate. I'm sorry that you didn't get to eat the cuttlefish that you asked me to buy home. I'm sorry that you waited too long to see me got married. I'm sorry for all the pain that she caused  you. I'm sorry for all the pain that I caused you. I'm sorry for your pain, that you felt like you had to keep secrets from us.

Thank you for your love. Thank you, for my mama. Thank you, for my sister. Thank you, for being you.

Now you are in better place, you are happy, you are with Our Lord, in peace and no longer suffer.
I will always miss you, and I love you. 

Good bye my guardian angel..